Mind, Muscle, Motivation - Brian Hazel, Bodybuilder
The mindset of a champion, healing from emotional trauma through bodybuilding, and being present.
You can follow Collars on Instagram as well.
When I hear the word bodybuilding, my mind conjures up images of Arnold Schwarzenegger-like individuals with muscles shaped in ways that seem impossible. To most of us, bodybuilding equals pumping iron and getting your tan right. But it’s so much more than the pursuit of the perfect physical body. Except for a few good documentaries, what’s publicized is the glory of the competition, with little insight into a bodybuilder’s personal life.
For starters, what makes someone decide to pursue bodybuilding professionally? For Brian Hazel, nationally qualified NPC Men's Physique competitor and WBFF Pro Champion, the idea sparked at a young age. But he didn’t fully act on it until much later in life. His story isn’t just one of determination and emotional resilience but sheds light on the struggles of a champion bodybuilder.
Pumping Iron, Pushing Gold
Originally from Connecticut, Brian has competed in about 12 competitions on the east coast. He’s won a pro-card in the WBFF and is nationally qualified to compete for his IFBB Pro Card - The International Federation of BodyBuilding and Fitness. By any metric, he’s a name to be taken seriously and has certainly worked hard for it.
Today, Brian’s an IT analyst for Bank of America. That’s his 9 to 5, but not his passion. “I’m passionate about music, self-development, motorcycles, and of course bodybuilding. Doing what you need to do to be the best version of yourself.”, says Brian, with a friendly tone that belies his physical demeanour.
“My interest in bodybuilding started at a very young age. My father was a commercial pilot in the 80s and 90s, but he was flying and training on planes that didn't have hydraulically assisted controls back then. He had a slight build and he’d struggle with the heavy controls and foot pedals. So he started lifting weights to build the strength needed to manoeuvre those large planes”, says Brian.
“He'd bring these improvised weights home, starting with an old cinder block kind of thing. As a kid, I saw him lifting weights and always thought that was cool. He’d mess around and do these bodybuilding poses just to get a laugh out of my mother and us kids. Inspired by him, I started lifting. To motivate me further, the fact that I was always a small and weaker kid in high school always weighed on me in the back of my mind, which pushed me to become physically stronger”, he explains.
But what drove Brian towards bodybuilding wasn’t a fitness craze or competitive spirit. “My marriage of 10 years failed. I was in an abusive relationship, but I was no angel either. We'd always work out together. At some point, she started fancying other trainers and people at the gym. Towards the end of our marriage, she started spending a lot of time with those people, giving them a lot of attention. She’d talk a lot about the fitness industry and how amazing it was. I didn’t really care back then. I respected the sport and thought it’s cool, but nothing beyond that”, says Brian.
“When my marriage failed, I started to wonder what was so great about bodybuilding. I mean, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to lift weights. I thought I could do it too. And so I did. Mostly, I wanted to prove to the world that I wasn’t a piece of shit. I craved some sort of goal. When people go through a traumatic event in their life as I did, they seek out stability. We need some kind of discipline to keep us sane. So I took up competitive bodybuilding as a challenge, to prove to the world I was worth something”, he says.
Then something unexpected happened. “I started winning. I went into it half-assed, but I was still committed. I started to get recognized for my effort. It fueled my spirit and I started to feel good about myself. So I kept on going”, explains Brian.
“The world can feel like a very shallow and superficial place if you're in it for just the glory and recognition. When you start doing it for yourself instead of others, there’s something magical that happens. The pictures, the ads, the groupies, all the beautiful people….all of that is a side effect. It’ll come automatically. You won’t see it immediately, but when you stay the course for a couple of years, and if you’re disciplined enough, you’ll see the results. As they say, it’s about the journey, not the destination. The positive effect of all that discipline will transfer to other aspects of your life too. You’ll see yourself change. I've been through ups and downs in the whole process, physically and mentally. I've gone through several major surgeries. People come and go, but I’ve always had the gym”, he says.
The Emotional Weight Of Bodybuilding
Like most sports, bodybuilding is incredibly hard to find success in. It’s ruthlessly intense and demanding of your time, energy, and your social life. “People have a superficial understanding of the sacrifices we make to look that way. And most of us have 9 to 5 jobs which makes it harder. Especially if you have family or other obligations”, he says.
“It's a lonely and selfish sport. It requires you to change your social habits to focus on the gym. You can't go to restaurants and eat whatever you want. You have to measure all of your meals and make time to prep all of them the day before. There's a steep learning process”, explains Brian.
“I still need to maintain my full-time job, workout, and somehow, make time for the things you enjoy besides lifting weights, or it’ll consume you. It can seem near impossible, but I do it because I truly enjoy it. A lot of people give up because it’s not sustainable”.
“There's a lot that people don't see. So many misconceptions out there because they don't know what's going on behind the scenes. They’re not living it day in and day out. There's a lot of self-discovery that goes along with it. It involves complex problem solving too. It requires you to put things into perspective. You have to look at the big picture but also be present. Lifting is a one-step at a time thing. You can only look at what's in front of you. If you start looking elsewhere, you're going to fail. So it forces you to be in the present. How can I kick-ass today? Then there’s the mental part. After a certain level, your muscles are only going to get so big. At that point, you're training your mind. So when you’re feeling low and unmotivated, your discipline will keep you in check. Mindset is everything”, he adds.
Poco a poco
The physical toll itself is enough to make anyone quit midway. At only 43, Brian has torn his quad, had his ACL reconstructed three times, and has had 3 herniated discs in his lower back. But he still lifts, albeit rather cautiously. He competed one last time in July. His next project remains to be seen.
So what comes after nearly a decade and a half of hustling and grinding at the gym every day? With all that free time and mental space, what does one work on? For starters, I asked Brian if there was anything he wanted to do, or would like to do after he decides to stop competing. I naively assumed he’s continuing in the fitness space. But I got a different answer.
“I wanted to be an animator! I went to school for animation and motion graphics. I wanted to be a character animator. Like for Pixar. But I put all of those dreams aside to support my ex-wife. I decided to stay in Miami to help her achieve her goals. I thought she was the one. I put my life on hold to help somebody who didn't deserve it. Once I decided to stay in Miami, I realized that I didn't want to move to California. But I should have. I didn't strike when the iron was hot and the animation scene in West Coast was happening”, he explains. “For now, I’m happy. It’s been a great ride. I’ve learnt a lot about this sport, the industry, and myself. I want to travel. I enjoy working on bikes, so I’ll do that too”, he adds.
“Poco a poco”, Brian replies, when I ask him for one piece of advice he’d give people. “It’s what my mother would say in Spanish. Little by little, one step at a time. Focus on today. Be present. You may not see the big picture today, but with discipline, you’ll eventually get there. Don’t quit before the magic begins”.